Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bank, bar, beer, car, champagne, drunk, funny, hilarious, Jamaican, jokes, man, money, penis, restaurant, sex, tequila, vodka, waiter, waitress, whiskey, wine, woman
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A Jamaican guy enters a resturant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his.
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The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that it’s from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note back to the Jamaican, the note reads…
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Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bar, beer, bird, champagne, channel, children, computer, cop, dinner, dog, drugs, drunk, elderly, funny, gin, grown ups, hilarious, home, House, humor, internet, jokes, laughter, liquor, marriage, Mathematics, money, movie, officer, online, patrolman, pharmacist, pharmacy, police, relaxation, rest, restaurant, rum, scotch, seniors, sex, sheriff, sign, sleep, smiles, tequila, test, time, trooper, vacation, vodka, weather, whiskey, wine, youth
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
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Jun 20 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, Africa, age, aid, America, aroma, butt, car, channel, computer, doctor, elderly, era, eyes, family, food, fragrance, friends, funny, granny, hairdo, hairstyle, hand, hands, hilarious, history, hospital, hotel, humor, husband, internet, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, laughter, man, money, mother-in-law, movie, movies, neighbor, odor, online, perfume, phone, recipe, rectum, scent, seniors, sex, smiles, time, tips, updo, vehicle, wishes, woman
I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year.
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
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I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
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Apr 28 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bride, companion, couple, elderly, funny, groom, health, hilarious, honeymoon, hotel, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, life, money, partner, seniors, sex, smiles, spouse, tourist, wedding, wife, youth
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, “Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you’ve been wrestling an alligator!”
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,
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Mar 31 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: African-American, beauty, Bubba, business, eyes, flight, funny, hilarious, humor, indian, job, jokes, journey, language, laughter, man, money, Native American, penis, plane, Professor, redneck, road, sex, smiles, task, teacher, travel, trip, vacation, woman, words, work
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
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Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago”.
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Feb 20 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, check, elderly, fashion, friends, funds, funny, humor, jokes, laughter, man, Mathematics, money, pants, seniors, sex, smiles, style, success, woman
At age 4, success is………………not peeing in your pants.
At age 12, success is………………having friends.
At age 20, success is………………having sex.
At age 35, success is………………making money.
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Feb 20 2009