Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: anger, bus, car, children, fun, funny, funtime, hilarious, humor, jokes, journey, laughter, license, man, money, road, short, sign, smiles, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, woman
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A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
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“Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man.
Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", "YUMMY FOOD FOR THOUGHT".
Tags: age, anxiety, appreciation, arm, arms, belief, blessings, bliss, body, brain, bridge, burden, cheer, comfort, courage, cross, depression, destination, destiny, direction, dream, dreams, embrace, era, exam, eyes, faith, feeling, feelings, food, glory, God, goodness, gratitude, guidance, hand, hands, happiness, heart, highway, history, hope, inspiration, journey, joy, land, language, legs, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, load, love, man, map, memories, memory, mind, opportunities, opportunity, others, pain, path, peace, period, power, praise, praises, promise, promises, prosperity, quiz, rain, rainbow, relaxation, rest, road, service, sign, smiles, soul, sound, spirit, strength, stress, sunshine, test, thankfulness, thought, time, touch, travel, trust, voice, wealth, weight, wishes, woman, words, worries
DOORS
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LOOK BACK AND THANK GOD
LOOK FORWARD AND TRUST GOD
LOOK AROUND AND SERVE GOD
LOOK WITHIN AND FIND GOD
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GOD CLOSES DOORS NO MAN CAN OPEN AND
GOD OPENS DOORS NO MAN CAN CLOSE
Feb 09 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, blonde, body, car, color, colors, designer, elderly, era, exam, exercise, eyes, fashion, fool, funny, glasses, hair, health, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, jogger, jokes, journey, language, laughter, license, light, magazine, moron, newspaper, noise, period, phone, quiz, reading, relaxation, rest, road, seniors, sign, sleep, smiles, sound, stupid, style, test, time, travel, trip, vehicle, voice, words
Jane had been driving 16 hours straight and was still at least six hours away from her destination. It was almost eight o’clock in the morning and she was very tired.
After dozing off and nearly crashing into a telephone pole, she decided to pull onto a side road and rest.
Jane turned off the car and closed her eyes … drifting off to sleep, precious sleep …
When an old man in a bright blue jogging suit knocked on her window, scaring her half to death.
‘Sorry to wake you,’ he huffed, jogging in place. ‘But can you tell me what time it is?’
Jane glanced at her watch. ‘8:15,’ she said through the glass.
The old man thanked her, then left.
‘Just my luck,’ she muttered. ‘I’m parked on someone’s jogging route.’
With a sigh, she settled back into her seat and tried to fall asleep.
Two male joggers in their thirties knocked on her window. If she hadn’t been really tired, she would have found them cute. Now, they were just annoying.
‘Hi,’ the blonde jogger said.
‘Do you have the time?’ his brown-haired friend asked.
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Aug 01 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bar, beer, bird, champagne, channel, children, computer, cop, dinner, dog, drugs, drunk, elderly, funny, gin, grown ups, hilarious, home, House, humor, internet, jokes, laughter, liquor, marriage, Mathematics, money, movie, officer, online, patrolman, pharmacist, pharmacy, police, relaxation, rest, restaurant, rum, scotch, seniors, sex, sheriff, sign, sleep, smiles, tequila, test, time, trooper, vacation, vodka, weather, whiskey, wine, youth
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
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Jun 20 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: ant, ants, bank, bar, beer, car, champagne, child, cop, doctor, drunk, dumb, employee, fool, funny, gin, helicopter, hilarious, hospital, humor, idiot, jokes, laughter, license, liquor, man, money, moron, officer, patrolman, plane, police, restaurant, rum, scotch, sheriff, sign, smiles, stupid, tequila, traffic, whiskey, wine, woman
Wouldn’t it be nice to just give all the idiots of the world signs?
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Idiot # 1 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
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Apr 13 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: abroad, age, apple, apples, bell, bells, bishop, bus, car, church, college, computer, creativity, destination, duty, eggs, England, English, Englishman, era, exam, eyes, finger, fingers, fire, fool, foreign, France, French, fruit, fruits, funny, hand, hands, highway, hilarious, home, House, humanity, humor, idiot, internet, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, license, light, logic, logics, man, meat, minister, moron, online, others, paradox, pastor, perception, period, phone, plant, play, pope, preacher, priest, Professor, race, reflection, reverend, ring, road, school, sermon, sign, smiles, star, stupid, task, teacher, teeth, test, time, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, tutor, university, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, vehicle, woman, words, work
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let’s face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
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Mar 07 2009