Aaaahhhh, Jamaicans‏

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
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This is hilarious! A true classic.


A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy… So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game. 

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The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun. 

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‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.’
This catches the Jamaican’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. 

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The lawyer asks the first question. 

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‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the moon?’ 

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The Jamaican doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. 

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Now, it’s the Jamaican’s turn. 

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He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’ 

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Comments (2) Feb 07 2012

DIVORCE VS. MURDER

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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DIVORCE VS. MURDER

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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eye
said, ‘I would like to buy some cyanide.’

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The pharmacist asked, ‘Why in the world do you need cyanide?’

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The lady replied, ‘I need it to poison my husband.’

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The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, ‘Lord have
mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband.

 

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That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw  both of us
in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not!
You CANNOT have any cyanide!’

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The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of

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Comments (0) Dec 06 2011

Humor

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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  GOOD SAMARITAN..

  A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the

  Good Samaritan.

  She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all

  wounded and

  bleeding, what would you do?”

  A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw

  up.”

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  DID NOAH FISH?

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  A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a

  lot of fishing when

  he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny.

  “How could he, with just two worms.”

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  THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

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  A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most

  quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .

  She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

  Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.

  After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

  On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,

  Ricky was so nervous.

  When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,

  “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”

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  UNANSWERED PRAYER

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  The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always

  paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.

  One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a

  good sermon.”

  “How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.

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  BEING THANKFUL

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  A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother

  says your prayers for you each night?

  That’s very commendable.

  What does she say?”

  The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

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  ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

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  When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).

  For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli

  would say, “and all girls.”

  This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.

  My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”

  Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”

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  SAY A PRAYER

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  Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his

  Grandmother’s house.

  Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

  “Johnny!

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Comments (0) Dec 06 2011

Go… Get yo laugh on !!!

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
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If you’re ever caught sleeping on the job…

slowly raise your head and say –

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Comments (0) Nov 16 2011

Enjoy the Ride

Posted: under Advice & Tips, Inspirationals.
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CLICK

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on the link below

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OR

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copy & paste into your browser…

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Comments (0) Nov 06 2011

Two ladies talking in heaven

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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1st woman:  Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman:  Hi! I’m Kelly. How’d you die?

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1st woman:  I Froze to Death.
2nd woman:  How Horrible!

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1st woman:  It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

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2nd woman:  I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.

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Comments (0) Jun 21 2011