Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: cemetery, cold, companion, couple, funny, ghost, heart, Heaven, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, ice, jokes, language, laughter, man, obituary, partner, peace, sleep, smiles, snow, spouse, television, wife, woman, words
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1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I’m Kelly. How’d you die?
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1st woman: I Froze to Death.
2nd woman: How Horrible!
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1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
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2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
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Jun 21 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY".
Tags: age, aim, attention, beauty, bliss, bus, car, care, charity, check, christmas, church, colors, companion, contribution, couple, donation, elderly, fashion, gift, goal, happiness, home, House, husband, inspiration, jail, job, journey, joy, life, lifestyle, lifetime, love, man, minister, miracle, money, music, neighborhood, New York, opportunities, partner, pastor, preacher, present, priest, rain, road, seniors, sermon, service, snow, spirit, spouse, storm, style, tablecloth, task, time, traffic, travel, vehicle, water, wife, wind, woman, work
True Story:
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The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.
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On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.
On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colour, crocheted tablecloth with
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Apr 13 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, chance, check, cold, color, control, dad, day, duty, father, father-in-law, food, friends, funds, funny, humor, ice, idea, job, jokes, language, laughter, light, man, Mathematics, money, others, pilot, salesman, smiles, snow, star, summer, task, television, vehicle, winter, woman, words, work
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
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Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, cold, fish, fishing, funny, golf, hilarious, humor, ice, jokes, language, laughter, nut, nuts, passenger, penis, quotes, shampoo, smiles, snow, thought, voice, words
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are some priceless quotes:…
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*I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word. He knew better*.
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*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good- looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”*
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*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh
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Apr 23 2009
Posted: under "A TASTE of the TROPICS".
Tags: beans, black, Dutch pot, fish, garlic, garnish, ingredient, ingredients, instruction, instructions, Jamaican, oil, peas, pepper, plant, plants, recipe, rice, rum, saltfish, sauce, seasoning, snow, sugar, vegetable, veggie, veggies, water
Saltfish in Blackbeans and Garlic
Ingredients
1 lb re-hydrated salted fish
4 tbs blackbean and garlic sauce
(can use fresh)
garlic chopped and fermented black
beans soaked
3 tsp red rum
3 tsp white sugar
1 tbs veg oil
Mar 15 2009
Posted: under "A TASTE of the TROPICS", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know".
Tags: admiration, adventure, America, attitude, aviation, awards, beacon, blessings, bliss, candle, Caribbean, celebration, celebrity, challenge, cheer, class, classic, competition, competitor, country, dedication, determination, dialect, dog, duty, fire, flag, flame, gold, grace, happiness, hero, icon, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, joy, judge, labor, land, language, leader, leadership, light, lighthouse, man, musher, music, musician, Newton Marshall, patois, performance, perseverance, pride, smiles, snow, soil, son, spirit, St Ann, star, task, team, torch, trophy, unique, vernacular, winner, words, work
Jamaican musher wins ‘Challenge of the North’ award
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Published on Saturday, March 7, 2009
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WASHINGTON, USA (JIS): Jamaican sled dog musher, Newton Marshall, has been awarded the ‘Challenge of the North’ award for best exemplifying the spirit of the Yukon Quest, during the recent 1,000-mile international race held in the United States. The award, a polished caribou antler trophy, was presented to Marshall at the Yukon Sled Dog Race closing banquet held recently in Fairbanks, Alaska. The 25-year old rookie sled dog driver crossed the finish line on February 26 in 13th place, ahead of 16 other competitors, with an elapsed time of 11 days, 19 hours two minutes.
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Mar 14 2009
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