Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, beer, champagne, child, couple, drunk, father-in-law, funny, hilarious, husband, jokes, man, mother-in-law, parents, rum, sex, son-in-law, spouse, tequila, vibrator, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, woman
AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER’S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A
STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN.
OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL
WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR.
.
SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?”
THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: “MOM, I’M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND
THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I’LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO
AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.”
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Sep 30 2008
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life".
Tags: age, anger, attitude, care, child, companion, couple, dad, daughter-in-law, day, dinner, direction, elderly, example, eyes, family, father, father-in-law, food, future, granny, grown ups, hands, home, House, husband, inspiration, job, language, life, listening, love, message, mind, mother, mother-in-law, observation, others, parents, partner, patient, perception, reason, relaxation, rest, role model, seniors, son-in-law, spouse, stream, tablecloth, task, today, voice, wife, wisdom, words, work
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about grandfather,” said the son. I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather’s direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
..
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then
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Jul 22 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, champagne, child, companion, couple, dad, drunk, father, father-in-law, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, liquor, man, marriage, mother, mother-in-law, partner, penis, private, pussy, rum, scotch, sex, smiles, son-in-law, sound, sport, spouse, television, tequila, time, tool, tools, vagina, vibrator, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, woman
AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER’S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A
STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN.
OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL
WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR.
SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?”
THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: “MOM, I’M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND
THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I’LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO
AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.”
THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL’S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ COMING FROM THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR UPON ENTERING THE ROOM, HE
OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR.
TO HIS QUESTION AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING, THE DAUGHTER
SAID: “DAD I’M THIRTY-FIVE, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE
AS I’LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND.
PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.”
A COUPLE DAYS LATER, THE WIFE CAME HOME FROM A SHOPPING TRIP, PLACED THE GROCERIES ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND HEARD THAT BUZZING NOISE COMING
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Jul 11 2008