Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, age, argument, attorney, bank, care, career, check, court, cure, dance, day, doctor, duty, encouragement, era, exam, feeling, feelings, funds, funny, gynecologist, health, hilarious, history, hospital, humor, job, jokes, judge, labor, laughter, law, lawyer, letter, loan, mail, man, medical, medication, medicine, money, office, others, party, period, pharmacist, pharmacy, physician, quiz, remedies, rules, smiles, specialist, surgeon, surprise, task, test, time, tips, woman, work
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Billing
========
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A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people
describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical
advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
“What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice
when you’re out of the office?”
“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a
bill.”
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
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Feb 15 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, Africa, age, air, alcohol, America, attorney, awards, bar, beaches, beer, brandy, breakfast, bus, car, champagne, check, cheer, clerk, cold, cop, court, destination, dinner, doctor, dumb, era, family, finger, fingers, fire, food, fool, foreign, friends, friendship, funds, funny, gas, gin, glory, health, hilarious, history, home, honor, hospital, hotel, House, humor, ice, idiot, insurance, jail, jokes, journey, judge, laughter, lawyer, letter, license, liquor, magic, mail, man, Mathematics, memory, money, moron, motel, New York, nurse, officer, passenger, path, patient, patrolman, period, photos, physician, police, pub, restaurant, road, robber, rum scotch, sheriff, short, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, specialist, stupid, surgeon, tequila, thief, ticket, time, tool, tools, traffic, train, travel, treats, trooper, vehicle, vodka, whiskey, wind, wine, winner, winter, woman, youth
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The Darwins are out !!!!
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Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
.
Here is the glorious winner:
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1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
.
And now, the honorable mentions:
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2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3
days.
.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
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7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
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Feb 06 2012
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something".
Tags: aid, angel, blessings, charity, children, Christian, christmas, church, contribution, doctor, donation, earth, exam, family, gift, God, gratitude, health, heart, inspiration, kindness, life, Lord, love, miracle, moment, money, mother, parent, physician, prayer, present, scripture, specialist, surgeon, teeth, test, time, universe, world
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Angels Unaware
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My children and I had a dental appointment with Dr. Hilliard
here in Abilene one day in 1997 and when I was paying the bill
his receptionist was telling me all the work that needed to be
done on our teeth.
.
Mine totaled up to over $500.00 and being a single parent, that
was COMPLETELY out of the question. She was telling me that I
could do it “little by little” and I was letting her know that
there wasn’t enough “little by little” in the world to justify
me spending $500.00 on MY mouth.
.
There were things that my children needed done and I would get
those done, but that the work on my mouth simply would not be
done. She understood and we left.
.
Later that day, she called me at work and told me that they had
an anonymous donor that wanted to pay the bill to have the work
done on my teeth. I thought she was kidding or that the doctor
was just going to do the work free, and that he did not want me
to feel bad so they were going to pretend like someone was going
to pay for it.
.
When it was obvious that neither of those were true, I figured
the doctor must have somehow figured out who my parents were and
called them.
.
I guess it took less of a miracle in my mind for him to figure
out who they were, even though he did not know them and that was
the first time we had ever been to see him, than for a total
stranger to be willing to pay my dental bill.
.
I called my Mom and of course, she knew nothing about it.
.
After call after call to the receptionist to make sure she
wasn’t kidding, she finally told me that there was a lady in the
waiting room when I was paying out that had overheard our
conversation and had told her that she wanted to cover the
cost to have my teeth work done, but she did not want me to know
who she was.
.
There is NO WAY to explain how shocked I was!!!!
.
Needless to say, I got the work done that I needed and she paid
the bill. Then a little while before Christmas that year, the
receptionist called me at work again and told me they had
something for me that I needed to pick up…..I went down there
and there was an envelope from “Our Angel” with a check from
one of the local churches for $300.00 in it to help us with
Christmas.
.
She had given it to the church for them to write the check so
her identity would still remain unknown.
.
It turns out she was a Christian lady that had also been a
single mom. Once again……I simply could not believe
It and still can’t really. There is no way she will ever know
how many times she still crosses my mind and how many prayers I
have prayed for the Lord to send her a special blessing and if
He can….to someway let her know it is from us through Him.
There is a special place in our hearts that is her’s and her’s
alone and there always will be.
.
The doctor told me one day that I had been in the same room with
her about 6 months earlier and was surprised to find out that I
still did not know her identity.
.
The first thing that came to my mind was that I hope I wasn’t
having a bad day that day. When I told the receptionist that,
she said she didn’t figure I had acted bad (but then she doesn’t
know how bad I can act when things aren’t going my way).
.
That just goes to show you that you never can tell when you are
“entertaining angels” and you sure wouldn’t want to be showing
your “less than loveable side” at the time.
.
On top of all this a couple of months ago, I was going through
Read More
Jan 31 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, celebration, champagne, doctor, drunk, friends, funny, gin, hilarious, Ireland, Irish, jokes, laughter, man, physician, pub, rum, scotch, specialist, tequila, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve got some bad news for you…you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room.
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There he saw his son who had been waiting. Murphy said, “Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t so well. I have cancer and I’ve been given a short time to live. Let’s head for the pub and have a few pints.”
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After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less sober. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy’s old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the Read More
Mar 17 2010
Posted: under "A TASTE of the TROPICS", "DID YOU KNOW", "Jamaica Labrish Korner", "Jamaica ~ Land Of Paradise", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know", "Welcome to JAMrock ~ JAMAICA ~ NO PROBLEM".
Tags: ability, accident, age, awards, birthday, body, brain, Canada, Canadian, child, country, dad, doctor, Dr Patrice Smith, duty, earth, education, exam, example, family, father, girl, global, globe, granny, health, home, hospital, House, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, journey, Kingston, labor, land, medal, message, mother, nation, northcoast, northeast, parent, parents, path, physician, pride, remedies, repair, repairs, research, road, role model, scholarship, scientist, soil, specialist, summer, surgeon, system, task, test, thought, travel, universe, university, Westmoreland, woman, work, world
Jamaican-born scientist making strides in nerve research
|
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Who would have thought that a little girl from Darliston in Westmoreland would turn out to be a First World scientist who may have discovered a new way to repair damaged nerves?
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Now living in Canada, Jamaican-born Dr Patrice Smith and her colleagues at Harvard have discovered a way to repair damaged nerves by allowing the adult brain to respond to repair signals that are induced after injury.
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Dr Smith explained to Flair in an interview, that as we get older, we
Posted: under Games.
Tags: age, alzheimer's, brain, check, college, doctor, elderly, exam, fun, funtime, game, health, language, man, memory, mental, nurse, others, physician, psychiatrist, quiz, school, seniors, skills, smiles, specialist, surgeon, test, time, university, woman, words
Quick Check for Alzheimer’s —–The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 30 years of age cannot do it!
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Jun 13 2009
