| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all
wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw
up.”
..
DID NOAH FISH?
..
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a
lot of fishing when
he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny.
“How could he, with just two worms.”
..
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
..
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
“The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”
..
UNANSWERED PRAYER
..
The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a
good sermon.”
“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.
..
BEING THANKFUL
..
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother
says your prayers for you each night?
That’s very commendable.
What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
..
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
..
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli
would say, “and all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”
..
SAY A PRAYER
..
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
“Johnny!
Read More
 Dec 06 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, belief, birthday, body, breakfast, bus, car, channel, cheer, child, church, coffee, courage, day, diamonds, diet, dinner, duty, encouragement, era, exercise, experience, faith, fool, funny, gift, global, globe, gratitude, gym, health, hilarious, history, humanity, humor, instruction, instructions, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, leg, legs, life, listening, message, morning, moron, mother, path, present, road, sandwich, Saturday, service, smiles, snack, snacks, sound, sport, strength, stupid, sugar, Sunday, surprise, task, tea, teacher, teeth, television, thankfulness, time, today, traffic, travel, treats, trip, truck, universe, vampire, vehicle, voice, weight, woman, words, work, world
.
A WOMAN’S WEEK AT THE GYM
.
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
.
Dear Diary,
.
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 40 something years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
.
MONDAY:
.
I started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair,dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
.
TUESDAY:
.
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
.
WEDNESDAY:
.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
.
THURSDAY:
.
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was
Read More
Nov 03 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, aid, Bible, caring, cheer, church, heart, home, House, inspiration, journey, kindness, life, love, man, minister, neighbor, neighborhood, others, pastor, preacher, priest, road, sermon, sharing, Sunday, thought, time, travel, winter, woman, words
.
The Homeless Man
.
It was a cold winter’s day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost laying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face.
.
He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless, and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We all fellowshiped for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man laying outside. People snickered and gossiped but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me.
.
A few moments later church began. We all waited for the Preacher to take his place and to give us Read More
Apr 13 2011
Posted: under "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know".
Tags: action, age, aid, aspirations, assistance, athlete, attitude, awards, beaches, beacon, beauty, behavior, belief, birth, birthday, black, blacks, bliss, brilliance, care, Caribbean, celebrity, charity, cheer, cheerfulness, chic, Chinese, Christian, Christians, class, club, clubs, college, color, colors, community, compassion, competition, concern, contest, contestant, contribution, country, crown, designer, diamonds, doctor, donation, dream, duty, earth, education, era, example, fashion, festival, game, gift, girl, global, globe, gown, group, groups, happiness, heart, history, hospital, hotel, Idol, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, jewelry, job, joy, Kingston, labor, land, leader, lecturer, legend, legs, light, love, medical, Miss Global Jamaica, Miss Jamaica, Miss Jamaica Festival, Miss Universe, Miss World, moment, Montego Bay, music, nature, neighbor, neighborhood, pageant, paradise, passion, passionate, patriotic, patriotism, performance, period, personality, physician, play, present, pride, prize, qualities, queen, race, relaxation, resort, resorts, rest, role model, Saturday, school, service, sexy, singer, skill, skills, smiles, soul, Spanish, specialist, spirit, sport, sports, star, student, students, style, sugar, Sunday, surgeon, surprise, swimsuit, swimwear, talent, task, teacher, team, time, title, token, torch, trophy, tutor, unique, universe, university, volunteer, West Indian, winner, work, world
The Reigning Queen
.
Miss Global Jamaica 2010 Shereen Sterling
.
Jamaican medical student Shereen Sterling (centre), winner of the Miss Global International 2010 competition, is flanked by second runner-up Marlene Lim (right) of Malaysia and Maria Isabel Figuera (first runner-up) of Venezuela on Sunday night’s final at the Grand Palladium in Hanover, Jamaica
.
Shereen Sterling was born in the parish of St. James on May 16, 1987. She was born a Jamaican and remained one ever since. She attended Catherine Hall Primary School located in Montego Bay, St. James. It was evident that she had many talents to portray.
..
Shereen started high school in 1999 at 11 years old where she immediately found herself in various clubs that shouted her personality. Shereen represented her school proudly as a track athlete, a singer (JCDC Festival and conferences), to name a few. She found her leadership qualities at an early age by being able to complete whatever task was given to her and being able to motivate her team body. While being so active in school she was also active in her community.
..
Shereen started Montego Bay Community college in 2007 and maintained great academic and extra-curriculum track records. Shereen was elected class representative and student council representative in her 1st year of college. She was an active member of the school choir and the ecology club and also did voluntary service in the Physiotherapy Department at the Cornwall Regional Hospital in Montego Bay. Shereen received a scholarship award from the Rotary of Montego East during her second year of college in 2008. Shereen graduated from Montego Bay Community College with distinctions and an Associate’s Degree in Natural Sciences.
..
Shereen is currently studying full-time at the University of the West Indies. Shereen spends her
|
