Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: abroad, accident, age, aid, aim, air, air force, amazement, America, army, aroma, attention, belief, blessings, blood, bridge, care, caring, cheer, club, cologne, commitment, community, companion, contribution, cosmetic, country, couple, cure, designer, destination, doctor, donation, duty, effort, efforts, entertainment, era, exam, example, faith, family, fashion, fish, fishing, flag, force, foreign, fragrance, friends, friendship, fun, funny, funtime, gift, girl, goal, God, granny, gratitude, group, gynecologist, healing, health, highway, hilarious, history, humor, husband, hygiene, imagination, inspiration, job, jokes, journey, labor, land, laughter, letter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, love, mail, man, marine, marines, medical, medicine, military, mission, moment, morale, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, nation, navy, need, needs, neighbor, odor, others, partner, patriotic, patriotism, perfume, period, personnel, physician, pledge, present, quiz, relaxation, rest, road, role model, Savior, scent, service, sharing, sleep, smell, smiles, soldier, soldiers, son, specialist, spirit, spouse, style, success, surgeon, surprise, task, test, thankfulness, time, token, tour, traffic, travel, trip, troops, truck, vehicle, war, wife, wind, woman, work
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Tampons
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My son told me how wonderful the care packages we had sent them
from the ladies auxiliary were and wanted me to tell everyone
thank you.
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He said that one guy we’ll call Marine X, got a female care
package and everyone was giving him a hard time. My son said,
‘Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone
really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it
from him.’ I told my son I was really sorry about the mistake,
and if he wanted I would send Marine X another package. He told
me not to worry about Marine X because every time I send
something to him, he shares it with Marine X.
.
He said when my husband and I sent the last care package, Marine
X came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing
through it, and said, ‘What’d we get this time?’
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But my son said they had the most fun with Marine X’s package.
He said he wasn’t sure who it was supposed to go to, but the
panties were size 20, and he said one of the guys got on top of
the Humvee and jumped off with the panties over his head and
yelled, ‘Look at me, I’m an Airborne Ranger!!!!’
.
One of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew
in the wind like a windsock. He said it entertained them for
quite awhile. Then of course…….they had those tampons. When
he brought this up, my imagination just went running, but he
continued.
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My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted the
Chap-Stick and lotion for the trip. He grabbed a bunch of the
items from his care package and got in the Humvee. As luck would
have it he grabbed the tampons too, and my son said everyone was
teasing him about ‘not forgetting his feminine hygiene
products.’
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He said things went well for a while, then the convoy was
ambushed and a Marine was shot. He said the wound was pretty
clean, but it was deep. He said they were administering first
aid but couldn’t get the bleeding to slow down, and someone
said, ‘Hey! Use Marine X’s tampons!’ My son said they put the
tampon in the wound. At this point my son profoundly told Me,
Read More
Mar 09 2012
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, aid, anxiety, bank, belief, brain, bridge, burden, care, caring, check, community, compassion, contribution, cross, decision, depression, destination, dialect, donation, era, exam, example, exercise, eyes, faith, funds, funny, gift, God, heart, highway, hilarious, history, home, hope, House, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, language, laughter, legs, letter, listening, load, loan, love, mail, man, mind, model, money, neighbor, office, others, pain, path, patois, pencil, period, prayer, present, quiz, reading, road, robber, role model, sharing, smiles, spirit, stress, struggles, surprise, test, thief, thought, time, token, traffic, travel, trial, trials, trip, trust, vernacular, village, weight, woman, wonder, words, worries, worry
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A man became desperate after praying to God to help him. Not seeing any help coming to him he decided to write to God instead.
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He wrote, “Gad mi tiad fi pray an yuh nah ansa mi. Sumtime mi wanda if yuh caan hear mi. Suh mi tink it betta fi mi write yuh caa mi kno yuh wi read it.
Gad mi bruk an only a beg yuh 3 tousand dallas. Tanx!”
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He went to the post office and mailed his letter to
Heaven District, Heaven P.O.
The post mistress not knowing where to send the letter decided to read it.
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Moved by it, all the workers contributed money but could only arrive at 2500 dollars. Regardless,
they sent it to the man
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A few weeks later he picked up his mail at the post office, rushed home and was shocked to find only Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: cat, child, children, choice, dad, dialect, dinner, exam, father, father-in-law, food, funny, goat, granny, hilarious, home, House, humor, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, meal, meat, mother, mother-in-law, noise, patois, pussy, quiz, smiles, son, sound, surprise, test, treats, vagina, vernacular, voice, words
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A woman cooked goat meat but didn’t tell the kids what it was.
They asked for a clue and she told them it was dad’s favorite.
The son screamed,
Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: age, baby, birth, birthday, bliss, doctor, era, exam, eyes, focus, food, funny, gynecologist, happiness, hilarious, history, hospital, humor, jokes, joy, language, laughter, medication, medicine, memories, memory, milk, nurse, office, pain, patient, period, physician, pill, pills, quiz, robber, short, smiles, sound, specialist, sugar, surgeon, surprise, test, thief, time, treats, voice, woman, words
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When the patient was wheeled into the delivery room,
she told me, “I remember you from the last time I
gave birth.”
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I was thrilled, especially since it had been a few
years. “Do you really remember me?” I asked, milking
it.
.
Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: aid, assignment, care, child, children, class, classroom, concern, day, duty, exam, family, focus, fool, friends, friendship, funny, granny, hand, hands, hilarious, holiday, holidays, home, homework, House, humor, idiot, job, jokes, labor, laughter, love, moron, pencil, Professor, quiz, reading, school, silly, smiles, son, stupid, surprise, task, teacher, test, thought, tool, tools, tutor, vacation, work
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Homework
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Two boys, Kelley and Mackenzie, are in the same class
at school. They are best friends.
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Mackenzie went away on a vacation and
Kelley offered to pick up his homework for the week.
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At the end of the week, his mom asked, “Where is
Mackenzie’s homework?”
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“Well, I dit it,” he replied. “I didn’t want him
Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, aid, anxiety, attorney, barn, bridge, car, country, cow, destination, era, farmer, funny, highway, hilarious, history, humor, jokes, journey, language, laughter, lawyer, license, man, Mathematics, movement, noise, path, period, pig, rabbi, religion, repairs, road, sleep, smiles, sound, surprise, time, tour, tourist, traffic, trick, trip, vehicle, words
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A Rabbi, A Hindu and a Lawyer
==============================
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A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the
country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and
came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer
explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to
sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed.
.
The Rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two
have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi left, there was a
knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi entered exclaiming,
“I can’t sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there.
It’s against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!”
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The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no
religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later,
the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying, “There’s a COW
in the barn! I can’t sleep in the same room as a cow!
It’s against my religion!”
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The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he’d go to the barn,
Read More
Mar 07 2012