Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "Jamaica ~ Land Of Paradise", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know".
Tags: age, attraction, attractions, beaches, beauty, Blue Mountain Peak, Caribbean, color, colors, culture, diversity, Dunn's River Falls, earth, entertainment, era, heritage, highway, history, hotel, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, journey, lake, land, lifestyle, mineral springs, Montego Bay, mountain, northcoast, ocean, Ocho Rios, palm, paradise, period, pond, pool, resort, rivers, road, Rose Hall, scenery, sea, spring, St Ann, stream, tax, taxes, time, tour, tourism, tourist, travel, trip, tropics, views, water, waterfalls
Jamaica is approximately 146 miles long and approximately 35 miles wide. It is the largest of the English-speaking Caribbean Islands, and the third largest island in the Caribbean. It is extremely mountainous, with the highest point being the Blue Mountain Peak, reaching 7,402 feet. The average rainfall annually is 78 inches with an average annual temperatures of 80F. Jamaica has 120 rivers and is described as the land of wood and water. The Island is considered to be the social and cultural center of the Caribbean. No place else in the Caribbean gives the diversity and attractions that Jamaica offers, consequently experienced travelers who have traveled other Islands, will revisit Jamaica again and again. Jamaica has an abundance of scenic views, crystal clear turquoise water, glorious white sand, palm-fringe beaches, cascading waterfalls, a rich cultural heritage and several mineral springs, and is extremely diverse in its entertainment.
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, anger, anxiety, baby, behavior, boobs, breasts, bus, cab, car, check, community, companion, compliment, cop, country, couple, cure, depression, dialect, duty, earth, eyes, fashion, favor, feeling, feelings, fool, foreign, funds, funny, glasses, global, globe, gold, health, highway, hilarious, homeless, hotel, humor, husband, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, land, language, laughter, letter, license, man, money, morning, moron, motel, music, neighbor, neighborhood, officer, others, partner, path, patois, patrolman, penis, phone, policeman, private, prostitute, pussy, reggae, road, sex, sheriff, smiles, sound, Spanish Town, spouse, stress, stupid, style, sunglasses, system, task, taxes, taxi, teeth, time, touch, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, truck, universe, vagina, vehicle, vernacular, village, voice, weight, whore, wife, woman, words, work, world
You have probably heard that they will be putting toll booths on parts of Highway 2000 in JA. This is probably what the first day will be like:
..
Toll Booth Collector: Morning sir, the toll will be $55.
Skinny the Taximan: $55 unda yuh Mumma! Yuh know how long mi a drive pon dis yah road yah and now oonu want come charge man fi drive pon we owna road. Is kill oonu want kill off poor people! Mi naw pay dat!
..
TB Collector: Sir, you don’t have a choice, please pay the toll or I’ll be forced to call the officer standing right over there.
Skinny: Which officer yuh a talk bout? Weh part him deh?
..
TB Collector: Yuh see the officer standing over there with the gold-teeth, the dark glasses, the bend-up face, and the M-16? Yes dat same one?
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Oct 12 2008
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life".
Tags: America, baby, bill, challenge, English, friends, funny, government, history, message, money, nation, official, phone, politician, power, project, service, show, system, taxes, truth, union, voter, world
Sent to me by a friend……
***********************************
Greetings,
This fwd’d message is Loud and Clear!
This results from we the people who pay these taxes, consistently electing crooked politicians to positions of unyielding power. Actually to be true, not all politicians are crooked, but the system itself is corrupt and nobody wants to fix it. So in order for them to survive in that system, they tend to change. We as voters see this time and time again. That’s not what they said they would do, when they solicted our votes.
…
They usually become exempt of all or some of these taxes or at least get a break on many of them because we pay these for them, through the mis-service to us. Not a typo, it’s mis-service, because they don’t do the things they are elected to do. They don’t because we don’t hold their feet to the fire to do right, so they cater to the squeaky wheel, which is usually an entity that usually is disingenuous, be it lobbyist, unions, etc.
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Sep 30 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, age, America, American, army, bank, car, citizen, college, companion, country, couple, dad, economy, era, eyes, family, father, friends, friendship, funny, government, growth, health, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, loan, man, Mathematics, money, nation, New York, others, parents, partner, party, politics, smiles, soldier, solution, spouse, students, taxes, thought, tips, troops, vehicle, voter, wife, winner, woman
Distribute this widely — esp. to your Senators and Congressmen –Maybe the American populace will win after all.
THIS guy wins my vote.
**********
By: T. J. Birkenmeier (Birk), Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic
* * *
“I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to American citizens in a “We Deserve It” Dividend.”
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To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona-fide U.S. Citizens 18 and over. Our population is about 301,000,000 (+/-) counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. If you divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon – ta da! -that equals $425,000.00 per adult.
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My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a “We Deserve It” Dividend.
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Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
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But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
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Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
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Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads AND the banks.
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Put away money for college – it’ll be there, safe in a bank – creating money to loan to entrepreneurs.
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Buy a new car – pump up the flagging automotive industry.
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Invest in the market – capital drives growth.
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Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – the health care system is crashing.
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Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else.
**********
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Sep 29 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: boss, child, citizen, couple, elderly, funny, hilarious, husband, job, jokes, laughter, life, love, man, marriage, parent, quotes, seniors, smiles, success, talent, taxes, wife, woman, world
[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
[5] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[6] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
[7] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[10] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
[12] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[13] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
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Sep 09 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: beer, computer, drunk, funny, hilarious, job, jokes, party, printer, redneck, taxes, wine, work
Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick.
Byte - What your pitbull done to cousin Jeb.
Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
Terminal - Time to call the undertaker.
Crash - When you go to Bubba’s party uninvited.
Digital - The art of counting on your fingers.
Diskette - Female Disco dancer.
Fax - What you lie about to the IRS.
Hacker - Uncle Jonas after 32 years of smoking.
Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
Mac - Big Bubba’s favorite fast food.
Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers.
Modem - What you do when the grass gets too high.
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Aug 10 2008