Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bus, cab, car, cop, dialect, funny, hilarious, humor, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, officer, patois, patrolman, police, robber, sheriff, smiles, taxi, thief, time, vehicle, vernacular, words
Trevor and Tony are walking home from Greater Portmore to Waterford after a night of drinking. They have no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot. Trevor has an idea and says to Tony: “Go in deh and tief a bus so we can drive home and mi wi stay out ya and watch out fi di police”. Tony duly breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while Trevor is wondering what the hell he is doing so long. Eventually Trevor sticks his head around the wall and sees Tony running from bus to bus and looking very worried. “What di hell
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, cab, car, elderly, funny, halloween, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, man, marriage, nun, party, seniors, smiles, taxi, traffic, woman
A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers: “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.” He responds,
“Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be a Catholic.”
Read More
Oct 31 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, anger, anxiety, baby, behavior, boobs, breasts, bus, cab, car, check, community, companion, compliment, cop, country, couple, cure, depression, dialect, duty, earth, eyes, fashion, favor, feeling, feelings, fool, foreign, funds, funny, glasses, global, globe, gold, health, highway, hilarious, homeless, hotel, humor, husband, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, land, language, laughter, letter, license, man, money, morning, moron, motel, music, neighbor, neighborhood, officer, others, partner, path, patois, patrolman, penis, phone, policeman, private, prostitute, pussy, reggae, road, sex, sheriff, smiles, sound, Spanish Town, spouse, stress, stupid, style, sunglasses, system, task, taxes, taxi, teeth, time, touch, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, truck, universe, vagina, vehicle, vernacular, village, voice, weight, whore, wife, woman, words, work, world
You have probably heard that they will be putting toll booths on parts of Highway 2000 in JA. This is probably what the first day will be like:
..
Toll Booth Collector: Morning sir, the toll will be $55.
Skinny the Taximan: $55 unda yuh Mumma! Yuh know how long mi a drive pon dis yah road yah and now oonu want come charge man fi drive pon we owna road. Is kill oonu want kill off poor people! Mi naw pay dat!
..
TB Collector: Sir, you don’t have a choice, please pay the toll or I’ll be forced to call the officer standing right over there.
Skinny: Which officer yuh a talk bout? Weh part him deh?
..
TB Collector: Yuh see the officer standing over there with the gold-teeth, the dark glasses, the bend-up face, and the M-16? Yes dat same one?
Read More
Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Inspirationals.
Tags: action, airport, appreciation, attitude, belief, bird, bliss, boss, cab, car, choice, coffee, comfort, competition, customer, destination, eagle, earth, employee, employer, environment, eyes, friends, happiness, hope, job, journey, joy, kindness, language, listening, magazine, manager, message, mirror, mission, money, music, New York, New York City, others, phone, power, quotes, service, smiles, task, taxi, thought, traffic, travel, trip, truth, universe, vehicle, water, words, work, world
During Customer Service Week please share this great customer service story with your co-workers and…your customers. It’s a simple way to say…We Appreciate Your Business!
Great Service Is a Choice
(Excerpt from The Simple Truths of Service)
No one can make you serve customers well. That’s because great service is a choice. Years ago, my friend, Harvey Mackay, told me a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey. He handed my friend a laminated card and said:
“I’m Wally, your driver. While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.” Read More
Oct 06 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, bird, cab, car, cat, couple, era, family, funny, granny, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, light, man, mother, mother-in-law, new year, parrot, party, period, phone, smiles, spouse, taxi, time, traffic, turkey, wife, woman
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”
Read More
Sep 27 2008
Posted: under Inspirationals.
Tags: accident, attorney, bliss, boss, cab, car, court, doctor, employee, employer, feelings, focus, Grand Central Station, happiness, home, hospital, inspiration, job, joy, judge, law, lawyer, lesson, man, manager, mood, New York, New York City, rules, skill, smiles, success, task, taxi, thought, traffic, truck, vehicle, woman, work
HERE’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
How often do you let other people’s nonsense change
your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss,
or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the
Terminator, for an instant you’re probably set back on your
heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly
one can get back their focus on what’s important.
Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson.
I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab.
Here’s what happened…
I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car’s back end by just inches!
The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.
And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, “Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!”
And this is when my taxi driver told me what I
now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck.”
“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As
Read More
Jul 18 2008