| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all
wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw
up.”
..
DID NOAH FISH?
..
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a
lot of fishing when
he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny.
“How could he, with just two worms.”
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THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
..
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
“The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”
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UNANSWERED PRAYER
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The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a
good sermon.”
“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.
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BEING THANKFUL
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A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother
says your prayers for you each night?
That’s very commendable.
What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
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ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
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When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli
would say, “and all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”
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SAY A PRAYER
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Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
“Johnny!
Read More
 Dec 06 2011
Posted: under Advice & Tips, Inspirationals.
Tags: accomplishment, accomplishments, action, advice, age, anxiety, argument, beauty, belief, blessings, bliss, boss, candle, candles, care, change, children, class, classroom, day, deed, deeds, depression, dream, dreams, dress, duty, elderly, empathy, energy, enthusiasm, era, exercise, faith, family, feeling, feelings, forgiveness, friends, fun, funtime, gratitude, happiness, healing, history, inspiration, job, joy, labor, laughter, leader, learning, lesson, life, lifetime, link, love, man, manager, Mathematics, memory, morning, music, occasion, others, peace, photos, present, purpose, relaxation, rest, school, seniors, short, show, sleep, smiles, stress, supervisor, task, thankfulness, thought, time, tips, today, touch, vampire, video, woman, work
.
CLICK
.
on the link below
.
OR
.
copy & paste into your browser…
.
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Nov 06 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, belief, birthday, body, breakfast, bus, car, channel, cheer, child, church, coffee, courage, day, diamonds, diet, dinner, duty, encouragement, era, exercise, experience, faith, fool, funny, gift, global, globe, gratitude, gym, health, hilarious, history, humanity, humor, instruction, instructions, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, leg, legs, life, listening, message, morning, moron, mother, path, present, road, sandwich, Saturday, service, smiles, snack, snacks, sound, sport, strength, stupid, sugar, Sunday, surprise, task, tea, teacher, teeth, television, thankfulness, time, today, traffic, travel, treats, trip, truck, universe, vampire, vehicle, voice, weight, woman, words, work, world
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A WOMAN’S WEEK AT THE GYM
.
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
.
Dear Diary,
.
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 40 something years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
.
MONDAY:
.
I started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair,dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
.
TUESDAY:
.
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
.
WEDNESDAY:
.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
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THURSDAY:
.
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was
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Nov 03 2011
Posted: under Inspirational Poetry, Inspirationals.
Tags: activity, advice, belief, bliss, day, earth, exercise, eyes, faith, family, friends, friendship, future, game, global, globe, glory, God, gratitude, hand, happiness, hope, inspiration, Jesus, joy, knowledge, language, letter, life, love, man, others, perfection, power, praise, race, sport, thankfulness, Thanksgiving, time, tips, universe, victory, woman, words, world, worship
The ABCs of Inspiration
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A lthough things are not perfect
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B ecause of trial or pain
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C ontinue in thanksgiving
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D o not begin to blame
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E ven when the times are hard
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F ierce winds are bound to blow
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G od is forever able
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H old on to what you know
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I magine life without His love
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J oy would cease to be
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K eep thanking Him for all the things
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L ove imparts to thee
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M ove out of “Camp Complaining”
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N o weapon that is known
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O n earth can yield the power
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P raise can do alone
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Q uit looking at the future
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R edeem the time at hand
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S tart every day with worship
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T o “thank” is a command
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May 30 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, anxiety, Bible, care, Christian, depression, direction, forgiveness, God, gratitude, guidance, guide, heart, hope, inspiration, instruction, journey, joy, life, listening, Lord, love, map, path, peace, promise, psalm, purpose, road, scripture, strength, stress, thankfulness, time, travel, trust, understanding
The Bible gives timeless advice and direction on how to live a godly life
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My granddaughter has a Nintendo DS. My grandson had a PlayStation, but he broke the screen. Now he wants to play with her Nintendo DS all the time. I have warned both of them against this. They don’t share well. If something happens to her Nintendo DS, she’s going to be upset and he’s going to have to pay for it. Despite my warnings, she continues to let him play with it.
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This morning she was looking for her Nintendo, and discovered that her brother had taken it to school which, of course, is not allowed by me or the school. So, the tears started falling because now she’s afraid it’s going to get taken away.
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I warned them that no good would come of this, but they didn’t listen. Now, he’s broken two rules—mine and the school’s—and she is in tears.
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Isn’t this scenario similar to our Christian walk? The Bible provides us with a roadmap to life. The Book of Psalms and Proverbs, in particular, are filled with timeless warnings, instruction and guidelines for living fruitful, fulfilling and godly lives. But we don’t listen, or we bend the rules to make them more accommodating. Then, when we don’t heed the instructions or warnings in the Bible, we cry foul and wonder what went wrong.
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After a morning of my granddaughter’s tears and turmoil, I found myself searching Scripture to get me back to my place of peace, and I found what I needed. Psalm 85:8 reads, “I will listen to what God the Lord will say; He promises peace to His Read More
Apr 07 2010
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