Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, aid, anxiety, bank, belief, brain, bridge, burden, care, caring, check, community, compassion, contribution, cross, decision, depression, destination, dialect, donation, era, exam, example, exercise, eyes, faith, funds, funny, gift, God, heart, highway, hilarious, history, home, hope, House, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, language, laughter, legs, letter, listening, load, loan, love, mail, man, mind, model, money, neighbor, office, others, pain, path, patois, pencil, period, prayer, present, quiz, reading, road, robber, role model, sharing, smiles, spirit, stress, struggles, surprise, test, thief, thought, time, token, traffic, travel, trial, trials, trip, trust, vernacular, village, weight, woman, wonder, words, worries, worry
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A man became desperate after praying to God to help him. Not seeing any help coming to him he decided to write to God instead.
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He wrote, “Gad mi tiad fi pray an yuh nah ansa mi. Sumtime mi wanda if yuh caan hear mi. Suh mi tink it betta fi mi write yuh caa mi kno yuh wi read it.
Gad mi bruk an only a beg yuh 3 tousand dallas. Tanx!”
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He went to the post office and mailed his letter to
Heaven District, Heaven P.O.
The post mistress not knowing where to send the letter decided to read it.
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Moved by it, all the workers contributed money but could only arrive at 2500 dollars. Regardless,
they sent it to the man
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A few weeks later he picked up his mail at the post office, rushed home and was shocked to find only Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: age, baby, birth, birthday, bliss, doctor, era, exam, eyes, focus, food, funny, gynecologist, happiness, hilarious, history, hospital, humor, jokes, joy, language, laughter, medication, medicine, memories, memory, milk, nurse, office, pain, patient, period, physician, pill, pills, quiz, robber, short, smiles, sound, specialist, sugar, surgeon, surprise, test, thief, time, treats, voice, woman, words
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When the patient was wheeled into the delivery room,
she told me, “I remember you from the last time I
gave birth.”
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I was thrilled, especially since it had been a few
years. “Do you really remember me?” I asked, milking
it.
.
Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, Africa, age, air, alcohol, America, attorney, awards, bar, beaches, beer, brandy, breakfast, bus, car, champagne, check, cheer, clerk, cold, cop, court, destination, dinner, doctor, dumb, era, family, finger, fingers, fire, food, fool, foreign, friends, friendship, funds, funny, gas, gin, glory, health, hilarious, history, home, honor, hospital, hotel, House, humor, ice, idiot, insurance, jail, jokes, journey, judge, laughter, lawyer, letter, license, liquor, magic, mail, man, Mathematics, memory, money, moron, motel, New York, nurse, officer, passenger, path, patient, patrolman, period, photos, physician, police, pub, restaurant, road, robber, rum scotch, sheriff, short, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, specialist, stupid, surgeon, tequila, thief, ticket, time, tool, tools, traffic, train, travel, treats, trooper, vehicle, vodka, whiskey, wind, wine, winner, winter, woman, youth
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The Darwins are out !!!!
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Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
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Here is the glorious winner:
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1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
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And now, the honorable mentions:
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2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
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3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
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4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3
days.
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5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
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6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
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7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
Read More
Feb 06 2012
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, bank, car, check, classic, court, funds, funny, honor, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, loan, model, money, reason, robber, rules, short, smiles, thief
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz
and, after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presidedat the hearing.
“Your honour,” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for
that dirty lawyer of mine.”
Read More
Apr 13 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, advice, age, anger, anxiety, aroma, beacon, bird, bliss, body, bus, butt, candle, candles, car, cemetery, cologne, dad, depression, destination, dog, duty, eagle, eagles, era, eyes, father, feeling, fire, flame, flight, flowers, fragrance, funny, genius, ghost, happiness, health, highway, hilarious, history, humor, icon, inspiration, jet, job, jokes, journey, joy, labor, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, logic, logics, magazine, man, medication, medicine, message, mood, motorist, muscle, muscles, nature, neighbor, obituary, odor, others, perception, perfume, period, philosophy, plane, plant, pool, rectum, rivers, road, robber, rose, roses, scent, sharing, sign, sky, smiles, sound, star, stream, stress, success, sunshine, task, thief, time, tips, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, voice, water, woman, work
Always take the time to smell the roses…and sooner or later you’ll inhale a bee.
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If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek…nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
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If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
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It’s always darkest before dawn…so if you’re gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that’s the tme to do it.
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, army, attention, baby, bell, birthday, bliss, car, celebration, cemetery, chance, cheer, child, Christ, christmas, coffee, cold, companion, company, compassion, cop, couple, day, devil, diamond, dinner, doctor, duty, elderly, family, food, fool, gas, ghost, gift, God, gunman, hand, happiness, heart, holiday, holidays, home, House, humor, husband, idiot, inspiration, jacket, Jesus, jewelry, job, journey, joy, King, language, laughter, leather, life, light, Lord, love, man, medication, medicine, memories, military, money, morning, moron, office, officer, others, pants, paramedics, partner, path, patrolman, phone, physician, plane, policeman, present, rain, reason, ring, road, robber, satan, Savior, season, seniors, sheriff, sin, smiles, snow, son, sound, specialist, spirit, spouse, station, stranger, stupid, surgeon, surprise, task, thief, thought, touch, traffic, travel, trooper, truck, trust, vehicle, water, wealth, winter, woman, words, work, worth, youth
This will really touch your heart.
…..
This story is a little long but worth the time to read it!
…..
Happy New Year!!
…..
The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn’t been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. It was just another day to him. He didn’t hate Christmas, just couldn’t find a reason to celebrate.
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He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door opened and a homeless man stepped through. Instead of throwing the man out, Old George as he was known by his customers, told the man to come and sit by the heater and warm up. “Thank you, but I don’t mean to intrude,” said the stranger. “I see you’re busy, I’ll just go.” “Not without something hot in your belly.” George said. He turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. “It ain’t much, but it’s hot and tasty, “Stew … Made it myself. When you’re done, there’s coffee and it’s fresh.”
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