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A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the
Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung
over and tired, he finally nods off.

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The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his
apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon,
the preacher decides to make an example of him.

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He says to his congregation, “All those wishing to have a place
in heaven, please stand.”

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The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.

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Then the preacher says even more loudly, “And he who would like

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Comments (0) Feb 23 2012

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            I bought a new Chevy Avalanche

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And returned to the dealer yesterday
Because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

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The salesman explained that the radio was voice Activated.

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‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio.
The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’

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‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’
Came from The speakers.

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Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant ‘
Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.

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I drove away happy, and for the next few days, Every
Time I’d say, ‘Beethoven,’

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I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said,
Beatles,’ I’d get one of their awesome songs.

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Yesterday, some guy ran a red light
And nearly creamed my new truck,

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Comments (0) Feb 23 2012