Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: beer, champagne, dinner, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, liquor, man, money, restaurant, rum, scotch, smiles, tequila, vodka, waiter, waitress, whiskey, wine
To impress his date, the young man took her to a very swank and
impressive Italian restaurant.
He ordered one of the more expensive bottles of wine on the menu,
and the two chatted as they sipped from their glasses.
Finally, he picked up the menu again and studied it with a fine eye.
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Oct 18 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, car, champagne, cowboy, drunk, duty, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, labor, laughter, liquor, man, penis, pub, rum, scotch, secret, smiles, sugar, task, tequila, time, vodka, waiter, waitress, watch, whiskey, wine, woman, work
A cowboy walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it’s a gay bar.
“What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a drink.” When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your willy?” The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.
“The gay waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan, ‘Just Do It.’ that guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because ‘It really Satisfies.’ “The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?” The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.” The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?” the fella proudly replies, “‘Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!’”
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the two fella’s on his right who just happens to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what do you guys call yours?” The first man
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, attention, baby, birthday, care, career, dance, day, earth, era, fool, friends, friendship, funny, global, globe, health, hilarious, humanity, humor, idiot, jokes, language, laughter, learning, life, light, love, man, Mathematics, medication, medicine, moment, moron, others, pharmacist, pharmacy, race, reason, sharing, sleep, smiles, specialist, time, tool, tools, universe, waiter, waitress, woman, words, world
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion,
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Oct 10 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, brandy, dinner, funny, gin, humor, jokes, laughter, man, money, restaurant, rum, short, smiles, tequila, waiter, waitress, whiskey, wine, woman
A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter.
“Do you recall,” he asked pleasantly, “how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn’t pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?”
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Sep 15 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: funny, hilarious, Jamaican, jokes, meal, restaurant, waiter
There were three men from the Caribbean living together in London; a
Trinidadian, a Barbadian and a Jamaican who were all starving because they didn’t have money to buy food. However, upon coming close to a posh restaurant they came up with a plan.
The Trinidadian went in first.
After being seated he ordered a three course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal the waiter came by with the check.
“But I paid you!” the Trinidadian shouted. The waiter was very confused as he could not remember being paid, but as he did not want to cause any trouble…he let the Trini leave.
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Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: Africa, bank, barbeque, boss, cannibal, cemetery, check, chicken, democrat, difference, dinner, duty, employee, employer, eyes, feeling, fish, focus, food, funds, funny, ghost, grill, hilarious, humanity, humor, hunger, hungry, job, jokes, jungle, labor, laughter, loan, lunch, man, manager, meal, meat, menu, money, morning, obituary, politics, reading, recipe, republican, restaurant, sandwich, smiles, snack, snacks, success, supervisor, surprise, task, treats, waiter, waitress, woman, work
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Grilled Democrat: $20.00
+ Baked Republican: $100.00
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Sep 12 2008