THE GREAT PHYSICIAN

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
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Welcome to the Great Physician
Office hours are as you come,
He’s a Specialist in all problems
And His day is never done.
He can heal a heart that’s broken
He can mend the spirit, too,
No matter what your ailment
He does have the cure for you.
His fee for service never alters
He serves rich and poor as well,
He’s our one chance for Salvation,
He alone saves us from Hell.
There’s no fee for services rendered
All He asks is that we believe,
That He bled and died to save us
And all His blessings we will receive.
Do you have a special problem
That is troubling you this hour?

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Then just simply leave it with Him
You can find no greater power.
Don’t delay in seeking treatment
Please, my friend, don’t hesitate,
For His office is soon closing
And He’ll shut and lock the gate.
I wouldn’t want you to suffer
While the Doctor’s so close by,
Your whole life will be much better
If my Physician you will try.
In Case of Emergencies . . .

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Comments (0) Jan 30 2014

Off The Wall‏

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away.
As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump
into a wall.


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They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the
woman is actually alive.


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She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another
funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry

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Comments (0) Apr 24 2013

A MountainWings Moment - The Wisdom of Will Rogers‏

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Advice & Tips.
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The Wisdom of Will Rogers 

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Don’t squat with your spurs on.

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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

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Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ‘n puttin’
it back in.

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If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
and then to make sure it’s still there.

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If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try
orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

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After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and
shot him…….The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your
mouth shut.

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Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

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There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman.
Neither one works.

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If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop
diggin’.

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Never slap a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.

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It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

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Always drink upstream from the herd.

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When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person,
don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.

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When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it

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Comments (0) Mar 03 2013

Blonde Easter

Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
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Little angel holding Easter daffodils by IronRodArt - Royce Bair

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Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

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St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?”

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The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful…”

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“Wrong!” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, “What is Easter?”

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The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.”

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St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, “What is Easter?”

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The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.”

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Comments (2) Apr 01 2010

Stupid Criminals

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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HE DOESN’T KNOW JACK
A carjacker upset by his noisy neighbors in Bonita Springs, Fla., drove to the sheriff’s office in a car he had recently carjacked to report the disturbance.

JUST HANGING OUT
A man entered a sandwich shop in Hendersonville, N.C., wearing a mask over his face and a pair of very baggy pants. When he tried to get to the cash register, he fell over a counter, then ran out of the restaurant empty-handed. Then, as he tried to climb over a fence, his baggy pants got caught on a fence post, leaving him hanging upside down until the police arrived and unsnagged him.

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Comments (0) Jan 23 2009

JERICHO WALLS

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
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The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, “Who broke down the walls of Jericho?”

Little Johnny replies, “I dunno, but it wasn’t me!”

The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny’s lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.

The principal replies, “I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth.”

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Comments (0) Sep 22 2008